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Thread: Love

  1. #1
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    aslaamalaykum...

    i am a 16 yr old boy turning 17, very mature for my age, ''Allah ho Alim'' i have got this problem, Love, i love this girl, she is a Hindu(mother)/Sikh(father, well i have a great affection towards her, and i do not wish to pursue the feeling, but it just grows and grows, and i no the feeling is mutual with her... i did not realise i had feelings for her till i was diagnosed with a blood disorder and she was at my aid, all the time, wen i could not walk she would carry my books and i will slowly make my way to my designation. we talk all the time, but the thing is i used to be a bit of a 'wild' boy i used to run with a gang, a very big gang, we were feared all around my area, wen i got diagnosed 3 weeks before that i came into islam deeply. i was 13, i havent been in a figth since, or i havent invlved myself in gangly violence or maybe once, ok ill be honest once since then. but that is it, those boys were my family we did evrything to gether been thru thick and thin, my life in there hands and theres in mine, we'l do nething for each other, since i broke with them, well in gangly material, our respect remained, i never found it hard to make friends but i found it hard to trust, and then after declaring goods friends form bad, i eventually bcame close friends those i used to have arguments with, but i would do nething to help them, to make them happy, but in return i will recieve nothing not even a ear to listen to my probelms, as i have done for them, i gave up my whole 'crew' for them and i dnt get nething in return, i know evrything should be givin without nething given back in return , but its gone beyond the point, i feel like i am a doormat, people walk over me cos of my nature, and before some years back i wouldnt let some1 look me straight in the eyes unless they wanted trouble... i have given so so much, i aint even well, and at this point in my life a bit of hope is all i want, i love my Lord (swt), and the Rasool (saw), but getting back to it... this girl has captured my heart, i am a devoted muslim, pray five times a day, tahajjud,established the local mosq Library, run a muslim youth sports club on friday, between asr and maghrib, i am very troubled i no it is wrong to date and so forth, but i have trouble controlling my feelings, i do not no wat to do. please help me if u can... i hope this forum doesnt disdain on your views upon me, Allah ho Allim that i have kept tried to control my feelings, people, old and young lot at me and towards me wen it cpomes to islamic knowledge or help, and it is hard for me to go to ne1... may allah (swt) place blessings on your life, for taking the time to reading this lengthy topic... all replies will b appreciated...


  2. #2

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    Yeah i dont know what to say really. I guess its ok to love her but i dont really think you can date her or anything. I had a similar problem but I never told the other person that I loved them because I know its haram.


  3. #3
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    asalam alaikum brother
    You are indeed passing through a difficult phase of your life. What i would suggest is that you stop seeing that girl altogether. it would really be a tough decision at this time but belive me there's no other alternative. You can explain to her that Islam does not allow such male and female interactions (especially since it is affecting you in a negative way as well). if your health permits, then fasting is another means of keeping your feelings in control.
    as regards people not returning your favours/love , well i know its a painful experience. my brother once told me that the hidden message behind this is that one should expect favours only from ALLAH and not from anybody else. if you are a good person be that way. dont let bad experiences develop bitterness within you. just do good for the sake of ALLAH and expect favours from HIM only.
    lastly i would like to know the nature of your blood disorder? what is it called medically? in islam we have been told that honey, olive oil and black seeds(Nigeela Sativa/kalonji) have great healing properties. why don't you add them in your daily diet? INSHALLAH it will have a positvie effect upon your health.
    May ALLAH help you and guide you



    Edited by - Someone on 07/16/2003 04:30:13

  4. #4
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    as salaamu alaikum

    Qadri, first it is nice that you are "straightening out" as far as gang type stuff goes. Keep that path and never look back.

    About the girl I would suggest talking to her. Let her know that you are a muslim. I hesitate to suggest completely forgetting about her because she has obviously helped you in the past. There is no reason why you can't be friends but you should avoid being intimate or spending time alone. Just be careful and make it clear that being a good muslim is important to you. If she doesn't respect that then you should seperate yourself from her.

    Also talk to your family or Imam I get the feeling that there is more then what you are saying, you can trust your family more so then your "gang friends" (trust me I've been there). If people are treating you bad, you don't need to act tough, just stop hanging around people that don't respect you.

    peace




  5. #5
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    Are her beliefs polytheistic or monotheistic?

    "I cannot go back to what it was, for I have tasted the fruits of succession."
    --Keomars J.

  6. #6
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    asalam alaikum
    Hindus are polythiests. as for sikhs i guess they are pretty much the same.though im not sure


  7. #7
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    Al-salam Alaikum

    Some Hindus are Muslims ya know?

    "I cannot go back to what it was, for I have tasted the fruits of succession."
    --Keomars J.

  8. #8
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    asalam alaikum
    you must be joking seto. a person can either be a hindu or a muslim. no one can have two religions at a time. hindus have sooo many gods and godesses.males,females, a monkey called hanuman,then snake called naag devta etc etc. cow holds a sacred place too.they even drink its urine. a hindu can never fit into islamic concept of the oneness of GOD.


  9. #9

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    dear Qadr :
    you said:
    i am a 16 yr old boy turning 17

    Before thinking about love , my advice to you is: GO FINISH YOUR SCHOOL , and then you would have 125555 the most beatiful girls

    so turn off the coomputer ,take your books in your hands , and forget about girls [}

    by the way I don`t buy your story

    say hi to mama <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>


  10. #10
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    Al-salam Alaikum

    You know, some people refer to the Indian people as Hindus. In that case that's what I meant when I said that.

    Also, there are some people there that have foolishly mixed the Indian religion and Islam together to create a new religion.

    "I cannot go back to what it was, for I have tasted the fruits of succession."
    --Keomars J.

  11. #11

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    Qadri, you are young so is she, may be its too early for religous advices on this issue. Things change with time. Follow your heart at the moment and take good care of her. No point stop seeing her or anything.
    If it has to end it will end in its due course if not you can never stop it.



  12. #12
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    asalam alaikum
    in response to what quest has said i would like to quote the opening chapter(Surat) of the Holy Qur`an.

    Chapter 1. Al-Fâtihah
    Introduction to this Surat.

    1. In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

    2. All the praises and thanks be to Allâh, the Lord [] of the 'Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists). []

    3. The Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

    4. The Only Owner (and the Only Ruling Judge) of the Day of Recompense (i.e. the Day of Resurrection)

    5. You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything).

    6. Guide us to the Straight Way []

    7. The Way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace [], not (the way) of those who earned Your Anger (such as the Jews), nor of those who went astray (such as the Christians). [],[],[]

    Source: http://www.unn.ac.uk/societies/islam...e/nobae001.htm


  13. #13
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    Mmm...tough...

    what I must say is that more than friends relationships shouldnt ever happen for Muslims and if they did one must repent a true repentance to Allah.

    Muslims cant marry Kafirs..(disbelievers) if you were thinking about seriously she must be a muslima for you to marry her.

    You are not too young to think about marriage coz thats westernized thinking...Prophet (pbuh) married Aisha at the age of 9.

    I suggest not getting to close to her lest Shaytaan may get to you and then you wont be successful although allaho alam...

    Give her some Introduction to Islamic books to her...you never know...she may convert even if her parents are disbelievers.
    Allah yahdee min yasha'a (Allah guides whom he wishes)

    Salam 3laikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakato.

    May Mohammed

    Edited by - may on 09/07/2003 15:28:17

  14. #14
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    Salaam


    Qadri. Stop wasting your years. If you love her than marry the woman !!

    Come on. How can you let this woman go if you love her and she says she loves you. Are you a man or a mouse? Take her and marry her.


    Omrow



    Edited by - Omrow on 09/08/2003 19:57:44

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