Polygamy

[nahlatambadou]

I wish to learn more about what islam says about this form of marriage. can someone give me more information about polygamy in a modern day society.

thank you
nahla

[asma sheikh]

as salam alaikum
i think islam has been associated with poligamy and people also think that it promotes it
on the contrary you will not find it written anywhere asking muslims to observe poligamy
this strated in the times of prophet when lot of men would die in wars and their women and children would be left unattended and uncared
as u would notice that our prophet married women who had no one to support them and their children
one more thing while during his marriage to khadija he had no other wife this also proves that he never married for lust
many hadiths state how he tried to be as equal to all of them and manby times he even asked for allah forgiveness for things which were out of his reach
i personally believe it is not possible for a human being to be equal and just to all after all we are humans and are bound make mistakes
thus this is neither relevant nor practical at any time in society

wont it be nice when a husband can give his entire love and attention to one rather dividing it among two
people face problem during their marriage i wonder how can they cope up with two
wassalam

asma

[sadlyyours]

In my opinion, this is the kind of topic not easily answered. But i think asma's answer is rahter good.

however, there is another factor, i have rarely seen addressed, except perhaps in the science books. This topic deals with human sexuality. and lust.

there is male sexuality, and female sexuality. i observe that male and female sexualities take different directions. male, by nature, but against religious commandments, does not seem to be monogomous. for this reason, there have always been incidences of "adultry", more than one marriage, etc.

If islam is religion for all times, then would temporary situations [like men killed in war, etc] establish long term criteria? i guess not.

i have seen too many men, with wives so beautiful , and yet men not monogomous.

so, i believe that polygomy has to do with more than just the fact that there were too many women available at any given time. i think it has to do with the "nature of the beast", too. men polygomous because they are "tired" of one partner. women monogomous, because they believe, [naturally]in love. indeed i'm not saying that men do not believe in love, and many are any less lovers than women. it's just that when it comes to sexuality, men go for more than one.

[ayesha]

Sadlyyours

Regarding 'nature' and polygamy, this is a rather interesting idea that you have introduced.

Islam is a religon most in line with 'nature'. If the problem was as 'natural' as you say it is, then there would have been a different setup for men in this world than it is now (religiously speaking).

This is not an attempt to subvert your argument. Makes me wonder how God's rule could so go against the 'nature' that He himself has created as He understands it better than any of us.

Best regards,

Ayesha

[sadlyyours]

i believe that laws of nature are prevalent in all things, including sexuality.

you see, committing sexual act is one thing. intention to commit but not commit, or desire to commit but not do it............. all have one thing in common. it is desire. desire in my opinion is natural. then why monogomy?

so much sexual activity, premarital, rape, incest and lots more supports polygamy is natural. i'm not supporting crime at all. please let me make it clear that i'm not supporting crime, but stating what seems natural to me.

[ayesha]

Sadlyyours

Agreed that you are not advocating crime.

Crime, as I see it, is hardly an outcome of any desire. It is about letting the desire move into a wrong directoin (let us just stick to the kind of crimes you mentioned) or letting the desire move from healthy to ill.

Had the desire in question been so 'natural' there would have been no restrictions on letting it be.

This life is about the choices we make in it...

Regards

[sadlyyours]

ayeshah

you say, i say, and many others say.................

"his life is about the choices we make in it..."


unfortunately, this is not true. in this life we hardly ever have a choice. mind you, i'm talking about majority of us.

[Someone]

salam nahlatambadou
the following link adresses the issue of polygamy quite well. check it out
http://www.islamonline.net/askabouti...uestionID=3408

[BinZiad]

Assallamu alaikum and greetings of peace to all.

I have read and posted, and bought and even given out this book to many, which is called;

'Islam In Focus'.

It is a famous book and a book that best suits people who are not that familar with islam and gives a wider and easy to understand language to the issue of islam. Very good for any reader on any level.

I have excerpts from the chapter on polgamy within the book below, which i feel will answer your query nahlatambodou and make you get a broader answer to this 'option' in islam. Also with the link to read the complete article and other chapters, which are aviable online.

[excerpts]

Polygamy (Plurality of Wives)

Strictly speaking, polygamy means the plurality of mates. More specifically, if a man has more than one wife at the same time, this is called polygyny. But since the average common reader makes no distinction between the two terms, they will be used here interchangeably. When we say polygamy in this context, it actually means polygyny in the proper sense of the term. On the other hand, if a woman has more than one mate, it is called polyandry. If it is a mixture of men and women, it is a group or communal marriage.

These three basics types of plural marriage have been more or less practiced by different societies in different ages under different circumstances. The most common pattern is polygyny; yet it is still necessarily limited to a very small minority of any given population for various reasons. This is the only pattern permitted by Islam. The other two, plurality of husbands (polyandry) and group marriages are absolutely forbidden in Islam.

However, it is not correct that Judaism and Christianity have always been monogamous or categorically opposed to polygyny, not even today. We are informed by some prominent Jewish scholars, e.g. Goitein (pp. 184-185), that polygynous Jewish immigrants cause the Israeli housing authorities a great deal of both difficulty and embarrassment. The position of the Christian Mormons is well known. So is the view of Afro-Asian bishops who prefer polygyny to infidelity, fornication, and mate swapping. In the United States alone, mate swappers are estimated to number hundreds of thousands.

It will be revealing to examine the high correlation between strict formal monogamy and the frequency of prostitution, homosexuality, illegitimacy, infidelity, and general sexual laxity. The historical record of the Greek-Roman and the Jewish-Christian civilizations is even more revealing in this respect as any standard sociological history of the family will show. (S.D Goitein, Jews and Arabs: Their Contracts Through the Ages. New York: Schoken Books, 1964; L.T. Hobhouse, Morals in Evolution: a study of comparative Ethics. London: Chapman and Hall, 1951; E.A. Westermark, A Short History of Marriage. New York: The Macmillan Co., 1926)

Turning to the case of Islam we find many people in the Western world who think that a Muslim is a man who is possessed by physical passions and himself in possession of a number of wives and concubines, limited or unlimited. Many more among these people show a feeling of surprise when they see a Muslim with one wife or a Muslim who is unmarried. They believe that the Muslim is at full liberty to shift from one wife or a number of wives to another, and that this is as easy as shifting from one apartment to another, or even as changing one’s suit. This attitude is aggravated partly by sensational motion pictures and cheap paperback stories, and partly by the irresponsible behavior of some Muslim individuals. The inevitable result of this situation is that stationary barriers have cut off millions of people from seeing the brilliant lights of Islam and its social philosophy. And it is for such people that an attempt will be made to discuss the question from the Muslim point of view, after which anybody is free to draw his own conclusions.

Polygamy as such has been practiced throughout human history. It was practiced by prophets like Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, etc.; by kings and governors; by common people of the East and the West in ancient and modern times alike. Even today, it is practiced among Muslims and non-Muslims of the East and the West in various forms, some of which are legal and some illegal and hypocritical; some in secret and some in public. It does not require much search to find out where and how a great number of married people maintain private mistresses, or stock spare sweethearts, or frequent their beloved ones, or simply go around with other women, protected by common law. Whether moralists like it or not, the point remains that polygamy is in practice and it can be seen everywhere and found in all ages of history.

During the time of Biblical revelations, polygamy was commonly accepted and practiced. It was accepted religiously socially, and morally; and there was no objection to it. Perhaps this is why the Bible itself did not deal with the subject because it was then a matter of fact, a matter of course. The Bible does not forbid it or regulate it or even restrict it. Some people have interpreted the ten-virgin story of the Bible as a sanction for maintaining ten wives at a time. The stories of biblical prophets, kings, and patriarchs in this regard are incredible.

When Islam was re-presented by Muhammad the practice of polygamy was common and deeply-rooted in the social life. The Qur’an did not ignore the practice or discard it, nor did it let it continue unchecked or unrestricted. The Qur’an could not be indifferent to the question or tolerant of the chaos and irresponsibility associated with polygamy. As it did with other prevailing social customs and practices, the Qur’an stepped in to organize the institution and polish it in such a way as to eradicate its traditional evils and insure its benefits. The Qur’an interfered because it had to be realistic and could not condone any chaos in the family structure which is the very foundation of society. The benevolent intervention of the Qur’an introduced these regulations:

1. Polygamy is permissible with certain conditions and under certain circumstances. It is a conditional permission and not an article of Faith or a matter of necessity.

2. This permission is valid with a maximum of four wives. Before Islam there were no limits or assurances of any kinds.

3. The second or third wife, if ever taken, enjoys the same rights and privileges as the first one. She is fully entitled to whatever is due to the first one. Equality between the wives in treatment, provisions and kindness is a prerequisite of polygamy and a condition that must be fulfilled by anyone who maintains more than one wife. This equality depends largely on the inner conscience of the individual involved.

4. This permission is an exception to the ordinary course. It is the last resort, the final attempt to solve some social and moral problems, and to deal with inevitable difficulties. In short, it is an emergency measure, and it should be confined to that sense.

[end]

Source: http://www.wamy.org/islam/Chapter%20V/Polygamy%20(Plurality%20of%20Wives).html

Please read it fully to understand the option of this action within islam with rules controlling and managing it.

FROM THE ARTICLE: "The solution which Islam offers in this respect is a permission to the unhappy and dissatisfied husband to marry a second wife and live with her openly in a responsible way with equal fulfillment of all obligations to the first wife and to the second. Similarly, it helps unmarried women satisfy their needs, realize their longings and fulfill their ligitimate aspirations and natural desires. It gives them a permission to associate with men by marriage and enjoy all the rights and privileges of legal wives. In this way Islam does not try to evade the question or ignore the problem. It is realistic and frank, straightforward and practical. The solution which Islam offers is legal, decent and benevolent. Islam suggests this solution because it can never tolerate hypocrisy in human relations. It cannot accept as legal and moral the attitude of a man who is by law married to one wife and in reality has unlimited scope of intimacies and secret relationships. On the other hand, it is deadly opposed to adultery and cannot condone it. The penalty of adulterers and adulteresses can be as severe as capital punishment, and that of fornicators can be as painful as flogging each of them with a hundred stripes. With hypocrisy, infidelity and adultery forbidden, there is no other alternative except to allow legal polygamy. And this is what Islam has done with the above –mentioned regulations and conditions. "


Do reply if you require more information.

[BinZiad]

You can view the article i mentionshed here to, if the other one does not work.

http://www.tempemasjid.com/books/isl...hapter5_2.html

The whole book; http://www.tempemasjid.com/books/islaminfocus/

BinZiad. A Friend