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Thread: can men and women be JUST friends in Islam

  1. #1
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    Default can men and women be JUST friends in Islam

    My question is whether there can exist a solid, moral frinedship between a muslim man and a muslim woman. For instance, can a muslim man and muslim woman chat like friends, share thier ideas and opinions on different topics with each other regularly, send eid cards to each other without having any blood relation or marital relation And i do not mean being boyfriends and girlfriends but just good friends without resorting to immoral practices and having a a good and clean , moral connection between two people as humanbiengs. i would really appreciate the response. Thanx

    sajid

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    Assalam-o-Alaikum

    I think "Friendship" in pure philosophical sense is a relative term. It depends whom you call your friend. For example if you think your teacher is your friend then ofcourse a techer-student relation can exist between males and females within islamic limits. In my view, friendship as we take it in general terms cannot exist between a man and woman within islamic limits. It is the very nature of men and woman that if they come closer in relationship like sharing ideas and opinions on different topics and if such a friendly relationship continues, they'll be attracted to each other sooner or later. In my view, Islam promotes segregation of sexes as a preventive measure against all kinds of immoral relationships.

    wassalam


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    Thanx so much i really appreciated the reply. Sajid

    sajid

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    Salams,
    Aasem could not be more right.Satan lures many people into
    his trap by this way.One must be always on his guard against
    the wiles and temptations of Satan.Attraction between male
    and female is the most potent weapon of Satan.


  5. #5
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    My question is whether there can exist a solid, moral frinedship between a muslim man and a muslim woman. For instance, can a muslim man and muslim woman chat like friends, share thier ideas and opinions on different topics with each other regularly, send eid cards to each other without having any blood relation or marital relation And i do not mean being boyfriends and girlfriends but just good friends without resorting to immoral practices and having a a good and clean , moral connection between two people as humanbiengs. i would really appreciate the response. Thanx

    sajid
    Dear Sajid
    Asalamoalaikum
    I read ur post regarding the issue of freindship & relation b/w male & female.Well,my dear brother ,many Scholars have little different view on this issue.
    But as far as iam concerned,their shouldnt be relation b/w male & female in Islam.The major reason is the attraction that can take place between the 2 opposite sex which may lead to illegal sexual relation which is totally prohibited in Islam & is considered as 1 of the major sins.
    Actually it is the desire inside a person which creates a temptations.
    Now many people say that they have no problem with it because they have full confidence on themselve,they have full trust in God(Allah) & they can control their desires.Well, this is a very good thing ,no doubt about it.
    But my question to all of them r as follows:

    Q.1.Can u control ur desires?their reply is yes.
    Q.2Do u have full confidence on ur self?their reply is yes.
    Q.3Do u trust ur self? their reply is yes.
    both male & female who want to have a freindly relation with each other will give an answer yes to all these 3 questions.
    But my last questionsto them is:
    Q.4. Can u trust Satan?
    Keep 1 thing in mind that when a lady & a man r intouch with each other or close to each other ,they r not alone.
    3rd person is also part of their company & that is satan.
    But if the situation compels u to develope friendly relation with each other & u have no other option or alternative.
    ,than
    In my view ,their can be a relation between man & woman only under the following condition:
    1. Both of them shouldnt be alone.They should interact & communicate with each other when others r present.And their communication should be limited to their requirments of School,institute or office work.
    .The communication & interaction b/w both sexes shouldnt exceed the limits of official or educational requirments.

    2.They can have a relation through internet
    But their should be good intentions behind that relation.For example they can have freindly relations if
    they want to share knowledge,information & course material of School or the specific Institute through e-mail.
    But again to be on the safe side ,both male & female should avoid making freindship with each other due to the reasons that i have mentioned above.




    May Allah guide us to the right path.

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    This is crazy? My best friend is a guy, we are really just friends with NO sexual tension wot so ever. Yuk it makes me sick just thinkin about that, like, he is like a brother to me, i really don't see anything wrong with that. I mean if you keep men and women apart how will you know what type of guy you like if you never talk to any, and vice versa.


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    Assalam-o-Alaikum

    Islam does not stop you from choosing your life partner or finding a "guy of your liking" as you put it. Their are prescribed ettiquetes and limits for such a relationship. I would also like to add that this kind of relationship is only allowed when you intend to marry some guy and want to find out more about him. Maintaining a relationship with opposite sex with a reason to test yourself whether you like the guy/girl or not is never prescribed or allowed in the very corpus of Islam. I dont want to be rude but your comment makes me think on following lines. It feels "YUK" to think about the guy in a "SEXUAL" way but yet you claim that you adopt this way to find the right guy fo r u. It is a natural feeling entrusted in us by Allah Almighty himself that no matter how moral the relationship may be you can't say that the guy is like your real brother. You are just "Best Friends" and it is not impossible that the relationship can change any time and when it changes things are never in our control. We see it happen many times in our families and circle of friends. Although it is not directly related to u but Ronnie has summed it up nicely in these responses:
    http://www.understanding-islam.org/r...stion&qid=1995
    http://www.understanding-islam.org/r...stion&qid=2043

    wassalam
    Aasem



  8. #8

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    "This is crazy? My best friend is a guy, we are really just friends with NO sexual tension wot so ever. Yuk it makes me sick just thinkin about that"

    Yes - the trouble begins when you DO find the right person, but are not so willing to marry at that time...

    Mueen

    Mueen

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