27th November 2002, 05:23
I have a child with a neurological disabilty. My hsband is Muslim (I have not yet converted, ) but I do wish to have him become a more faithfully follwing Muslim. I am collectively getting information to gether for him so that he can (as well as I once I read more, inshalla)..
He is really distraught over our only son being Autistic. We do have , thanks be to God, a very healthy daughter.
I was wondering is there any special prayers or entries in the Quran or the Sunnas that can help us cope. Perhaps a story to talk about how to allow us to accept this "will" of God.
I want us to be closer to the creator, and perhaps confide in him, and ask of him to make reason of this for me , so that I know how to effectivly be a mother to a disabled child and for my husband as well. We want God help, we want him to have mercy on us and to show us the right way of handling this. We want for him to give us the strength and the patience we need in raisning a child like my son Adem. Is there anything you can direct me to. A particular passage that I can read in English?
I have the Quran in English.. or perhaps online. Any words of advice would be greatly apprecited.
I do ave to say, I went to see a imam (I dont know if that is how you spell it).. And I think it may not be the proper thing to do.. as he is one that many go to for guidance. He asked me some breif questions, and he opened up a book with arabic writing.. he then made me do a couple of things (wipe a cloth on my sons tongue) and to say a specif type of prayer..
He also had me follow some certain rituals (for my son to drink out of a cup )that had a prayer written on it sealed so it could stay in the water .
He also has my son wearing a necklace that has a prayer wrapped up in it.
I was very weary of this type of thing. I wasnt sure if this was very similar to when people go to "witch craft" (I am sorry to offend but please understand).
He was very honest, telling me he is NOT god, he does not have the power to change anything, and that all he could do was to pray ..
Whcih I thought was very wonderful. My husband also saught comfort in this. But I worry for my husband, as I want his faith to be in ALLAH not in this man. So I want to direct him to what he is supposed to do on his own. I dont think it is WRONG to go for help to others who have dedicated their lives to dissiminating Gods Word..
I just speculated when he told me he thought "someone did this to him, " and that perhaps someone "thought bad thoughts but didnt mean to" and that now my son has swelling onthe right side of his brain.. and he wanted me to caress this part of his head and say a few words in arabic(?)
(Sounds like..ya ali aderik nee fe see be' le lahi)
(please if someone can translate)
Anwyay, Ihope I am not offending anyone, please undertand my desperation. I just want to go to God and have his help the right way.
Also this man tells me that he sees my son being like you or I later on in life..
And I thought , as wonderful as it seemed, quite a bold statement from one who claims "he is not God"
How can he see these things. Are there some with so much power?
I am just curious?
I think many are blessed by God, and he gives people "gifts" I just wanted the people here, who seem to be so much more knowledgable , if there are such people ?? and I find it to be the NORM for alot of Muslims to seek "help" or "council" with these type of people..
Is it normal for them to prophesize?
I may be so out of line and disrepectful for even wuestioning, but again I do apologize, I just want to have clarity. I am a mother with a very young boy (4) who I have worked very hard educating him and teahcing him everything he knows. god has been Good to me, for what I have done so far.. my son is starting to speak, and is very bright, and acedemically knows ALOT, more than peers, he is just not social or conversational and does "weird things".. but with my efforts that God has given me the strength to odo do thus far, has had him make tremndous gains, gains that professionals claim these AUtistic children may not EVER accomplish..
PLease any help, any guidance to passages would be so dearly appreciated.
Peace and Blessings
27th November 2002, 11:02
A'salam Wa Alaikum,
My heart and my prayers go out to you. I don't know that I can say anything to make you feel better except trust in God. We will all be put through trials and tribulations and our reaction to them is what counts. This is only a forum, the place where questions are answered is at www.understanding-islam.org Click on "post a question" and insha'Allah you will receive your answer from a qualified person. I empathize with you and whole heartedly pray for you and your loved ones. You're right you don't need magic you need spiritual strength, I pray you receive it. I have posted a few links below that might help.
27th November 2002, 15:13
I cannot thank you enough for your kind words and your direction to the right source where to post a question. The articles you have referenced me to are very helpful and I will like to begin Sala'h al-Haajah. I am grateful that it is written in English as well, apparently the modrator whom answers questions has been overwhelmed, understandably so, with many manyquestions, and I will wait unitl the Monday to post my question. I thank you again for reaching out to me with the wisdom and kind words that you do have.
Peace and Blessings to you and all..
27th November 2002, 16:52
Here is a link to a group which discusses autism:
You will find other people there who are having similar problems as yours. God be with you and your family.
27th November 2002, 21:06
Big Al-Mawrid fan
You have made clear in your letter that the help you seek from Allah is to be given strength and patience in raising your son. You ask about some "special prayers" that you can recite in Arabic that may help in this direction.
A misconception that many muslims have these days is that "duas" or supplications have some magical effect on a person. The reason many people tend to believe that certain Quranic verses or Arabic duas have a magic effect is because they are in a language that a non-Arabic speaking person does not understand. The words sound exotic and powerul and we tend to believe they must have some mystical effect.
A person's supplication to Allah comes from the heart and entails an acknowledgement that it is Allah who is the ultimate source of all help and all good that is in our lives. The supplication itself, whatever language it is in, is simply this attitude and belief manifested into action. There is no need to learn words of a language you don't understand and repeat them to yourself uncomprehendingly.
Your letter suggests that you are looking for some medium of communication between yourself and Allah. You ask for a special dua that you think the Creator will pay better heed to, and you go to an Imam to ask him to supplicate to God for you. Neither are necessary. Allah knows you better than you know yourself, and is not only aware intimately of your problems, but also has the power to make them go away. You don't have to look for some way of communicating your supplications to him. Pray from a humble heart for His help. He will, rest assured, hear you.
Although there is no harm in asking a pious person to pray for you, it is not desirable to look to the Imam you speak of in your letter with greater hope than Allah. The Imam cannot make your problems go away, he cannot predict what will happen to your son, and he cannot act as a mediator between you and God. There are no priests in Islam.
I commend you on your approach to your problem. Personally, I have found it much easier to cope with my problems when I feel closer to Allah. To get the "strength and the patience" you seek, I would reccommend you continously strive you get closer to your Creator.
Please note that I'm not a religious scholar. These are my own opinions and they may well be wrong. I have made them based on my limited understanding.
I pray that Allah grants you and your family happiness in this world and the next.
8th December 2002, 02:52
There's a very good islamic site called www.islamonline.net where u can put your question in the 'cyber counselloer' section.Im sure they will be able to help you. Pray to GOD as much as u can to make your child get better.One should keep on praying and keep firm faith in GOD as it is HE who is THE MOST MERCIFUL and has all the powers.If HE wills your child will get better. I pray to GOD for the health of your son.
17th January 2003, 02:48
I hope you've been back to this forum to read the posts in general. Porky has been looking for you because he may have good news relating to your child.
17th January 2003, 04:32
adimnmia, There was an interesting story about an autistic boy who is making tremendous progress, due to something his mother is doing.
They are making medical history because she has gotten the boy to talk, through typing.
She came to the U.S., and in six weeks had helped another boy who hadn't talked in years.
Here are two links where you can read about it. It was also on ABC News, a prominent news program here.
I wish you well.
I also found that they have a website for the boy, Tito:
22nd January 2003, 23:56
salaam, i have great sympathy for you, let me asure you that this is not a punishment from allah merley a test, allah tests you with the things you love the most in this life, have patience as this will earn you much reward and allah would not burden the shoulders of those who could not handle it.
Sister our aim in this dunya (life) is to seek the reward and pleasure of allah and to inshalla atain junnah.
recite this dua, inallahaa,inalahee rageoon, to allah we belong and to him we return.