Resistance to change

[vector]

Here are a few questions I have about this:

Why are people so resistant to such changes, even when their life is not in any way jeopardized by the change, but could be if things don't change?

Are there ways to persuade them to see the benefits of and accept the change?

[Vajradhara]

Namaste vector,


thank you for the post.

there are several theories about why people react poorly to change... world views, emotional security etc. in my opinion, the main reason that people react so poorly to change, in general, is that it reminds them of their mortality.

we see our children change and grow up, which reminds us that we are growing older. we move and see that our posessions, which we used to think made us happy, really didn't.

in short, change is the defining experience that we have on a constant basis. you and i have changed in the short time that it's taken me to write this forum post.

often, it seems, that people are taken aback by their impending middle age and then old age and sickness and death. it's as if they will live a life of perpetual 35 until one moment, seemingly from nowhere, they die.

our minds are very powerful and can convince our rational aspects to simply ignore these things.. when they forcefully intrude into our awareness we are confronted with our own fears, hopes and dreams... and, somewhere deep inside, we just aren't ready to let those things go.

of course, my views of those of a "hasish smoking, hairy, happy hippy" as i've been told :hippy: and may not comport with reality.

[vinod]

Vaj, brilliant post. I loved it. So true. Am keeping it for long term use. Thanks

[syedhs]

Here are a few questions I have about this:

Why are people so resistant to such changes, even when their life is not in any way jeopardized by the change, but could be if things don't change?

Are there ways to persuade them to see the benefits of and accept the change?

I dont think that human will easily respond to changes simply because it is better. It is very much the emotional rather than logical decision. Then, why we have people getting drunk - rational thinking would say that it is illogical to get drunk, you simply are getting worse and no benefit at all. And then, why people are smoking? Why are we so 'kind' of inhale smoke whereas anybody knows it is killing your lungs.

Therefore, I believe that in order for someone to change for the better, there should an emotional factor attached. For example, say that you want to change a person, maybe what you can do is first be kind to his family, next to kin etc and then, slowly but progressively you can give the advise. A husband who wants to advise the wife to put on veil should first, be kind to his wife. Do not necessarily scold her for no reason, for example. Show her your kindness, your love :love: and then slowly you project yourself the image of true muslim. By that time, it is certainly much easier for the wife to put on veil. Clearly, if the husband simply mentioned to the wife,
'Do you know that you have to put on veil. It is mentioned in Quran. Don't you feel sinful everytime you expose your hair etc etc'. The result may not pleasant if you are being forceful.

I hope you can see how to effectively change a person. Just my two cents.

[vinod]

Syedhs

Good one. Win the heart and then win the person ..eh

Regards
Vinod

[Vajradhara]

Vaj, brilliant post. I loved it. So true. Am keeping it for long term use. Thanks

Salaam Vinod,

i'm glad that you liked it and found some value therein.

this is one of the areas that my religion really investigates... change.. what it is, how it effects us and how we react to it.

our conclusions, if i may sum up nearly 7,000 years of philosophical thought, is that it is our reactions to the fact of change that more completely and thoroughly impact our lives.

this is reflected in several of the teachings... usually, we like water analogies... so things like "water off the ducks back" are common in the West. a more Eastern flavor of that is "like mud and the Lotus." a lotus flower comes forth from the mud, but mud and water do not stick to the flower itself.

in the Taoist tradition, one of the most pivotal works is called the I Ching, or Book of Changes. depending on one's Taoist school, this book explains the step by step process for changing one's gross spiritual nature into the refined nature of celestial being. perhaps, a bit outside the scope of our conversation at this point in time, though

[vinod]

Vaj

Could you recommend some good links that would be a dummy's introduction to Taoism?
And perhaps also some intermediate and advanced links that I can go to later

Regards
Vinod

[vinod]

Vaj

The reason I connected with your post is that I'm involved in an Islamic revival movement called 'Tabligh' and the one of the ideas there is to "learn how to die"--> implying with true faith in Allah. This is done by almost literally acting on the hadith that "this life is like that of a traveller". The activities of the movement requires one to move from mosque to mosque, place to place and country to country talking about the greatness of God. This is encouraged annually every 40 days. Some of the folks give 4 months every year for this.
You see, when one has to engage in something like this, he has to have a traveller's mindset most of his time. That would mean facing uncertainties and constant changes. This is brought about by the constant remembrance of death (mortality thing) and strengthening one's belief on the temporariness of this world.
Muslims, who are averse to changes and uncertainties, and used to a steady and smooth income have a great difficulty adjusting to the movement. I guess they figure other ways to remind themselves of their mortality.

But for me, this is highly effective.

Salaam
Vinod

[MF]

Why people are smoking? Why are we so 'kind' of inhale smoke whereas anybody knows it is killing your lungs.

Because Nicotine is an addictive hard drug, it can be harder to quit then cocaine plus its doing a better job then the natural neurotransmitter acetylcholine in your brain.

everything in the link below is so amazing correct (I know I've smoked and quitted, and it took me a long time and I still crave!

http://whyquit.com/whyquit/LinksAAddiction.html

What is nicotine addiction?
Nicotine is the tobacco plant's natural protection from being eaten by insects. Drop for drop it's more lethal than strychnine and three times deadlier than arsenic. Yet, amazingly, by chance, this natural insecticide's chemical structure is so similar to the neurotransmitter acetylcholine that once inside the brain it fits a host of chemical locks permitting it direct and indirect control over the flow of more than 200 neurochemicals.

Within eight seconds of that first-ever inhaled puff, through dizzy, coughing and six shades of green, nicotine arrived at the brain's reward pathways where it generated an unearned flood of dopamine resulting in an immediate yet possibly unrecognized "aaahhh" reward sensation. Sensing it would cause most first-time inhalers to soon return to steal more. Nicotine also fit the adrenaline locks releasing a host of fight or flight neurochemicals and select serotonin locks impacting mood.

Brain Defenses Create Dependency

A toxic poison, the brain's defenses fought back but in doing so they had no choice but to also turn down the mind’s sensitivity to acetylcholine, the body's conductor of an entire orchestra of neurochemicals.

In some neuro-circuits the brain diminished the number of receptors available to receive nicotine, in others it diminished the number of available transporters and in still other regions it grew millions and millions of extra acetylcholine receptors (up-regulation), almost as if trying to protect itself by more widely disbursing the arriving pesticide.

There was only one problem. All the physical changes engineered a new tailored neurochemical sense of normal built entirely upon the presence of nicotine. Now, any attempt to stop using it would come with a risk of intermittent temporary hurtful anxieties and powerful mood shifts. A true chemical addiction was born. Returning home to the “real you” now had a price. Gradually the calmness and comfort associated with being the “real you” faded into distant or even forgotten memory.

The brain's protective adjustments insured that any attempt to stop would leave you temporarily desensitized. Your dopamine reward system would briefly offer-up few rewards, your nervous system would see altering the status quo as danger and sound an emotional anxiety alarm throughout your body, and mood circuitry might briefly find it difficult to climb beyond depression.

The Recovery Process

Successful nicotine dependency recovery is in maintaining the motivations, dreams and patience needed to allow: (1) the physical mind time to re-sensitize itself and re-adjust to functioning normally again; (2) the subconscious mind time to encounter and re-condition the bulk of its nicotine feeding cues that triggered brief anxiety episodes in an attempt to gain compliance; and (3) the conscious mind time to either allow years of defensive dependency rationalizations to fade into distant memory, or the intelligent quitter time to more rapidly destroy their impact through honest reflection.

The ex-smoker will find themselves enjoying a deep and rich sense of inner quiet, calmness, and tranquility once their temporary journey of re-adjustment is substantially complete.

The body's nicotine reserves decline by about half every two hours. It's not only the basic chemical half-life clock which determines mandatory nicotine feeding times, when quitting it's also the clock that determines how long it takes before the brain begins bathing in nicotine free blood-serum, the moment that real healing begins.

It can take up to 72 hours for the blood-serum to become nicotine-free and 90% of nicotine's metabolites to exit the body via your urine. It's then that the anxieties associated with readjustment normally peak in intensity and begin to gradually decline.

But just one powerful "hit" of nicotine and you’ll again face another 72 hours of detox anxieties. It's why the one puff survival rate is almost zero. None of us are stronger than nicotine but then we don’t need to be as it is simply a chemical with an I.Q. of zero. It does not plot, plan or conspire and is not some demon within us. Our most effective weapon against it is, and always has been, our vastly superior intelligence but only if put to work.

The change to quit with smoking needs alot of willpower from the smoker, and only the smoker because you have to do it for yourself and really want it.

I can name you a billion excuses why people dont stop smoking also

peace