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Thread: Well, it *does*, you know!

  1. #1
    (THOAT-wob-lur MAN-grove)
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    Default Well, it *does*, you know!

    We all know that sh*t happens, right? But it seems that depending on what you believe in this world, you may just know it a little differently. To elaborate, here’s a helpful chart:

    Neutrality toward religion: Sh*t happens.
    Confucianism: Confucius say, "Sh*t happens."
    Taoism: Sh*t happens, but the sh*t that can be said to happen is not the true sh*t.
    Buddhism: Sh*t happening is a natural part of the cycle of sh*t and rebirth.
    Zen Buddhism: Sh*t happens, and sh*t does not happen.
    Hinduism: This sh*t has happened before.
    Idol worship: Let's bronze this sh*t!
    Wicca: We create our own sh*t.
    Islam: Sh*t happens, and Allah is not unaware of what you do.
    Christianity: Verily, verily, I say unto you, sh*t happens.
    Catholicism: If sh*t happens, you probably deserve it.
    Protestantism: Sh*t happens, and you’d better believe it!
    Judaism: Oh, why must this sh*t always happen to us?
    Secular Humanism: Sh*t doesn’t just happen, it evolves.
    Determinism: Hey, this sh*t’s bound to happen!
    Capitalism: Hands off, that is MY sh*t!
    Hedonism: There is nothing like a good sh*t happening!
    Scientology: In case of sh*t happening, see "Dianetics", p.157.
    Jehovah's Witnesses: (*Knock knock*!) (“Who’s there?”) (“Sh*t happens.")
    Zoroastrianism: Sh*t happens only half the time.
    Strong agnosticism: Sh*t happens. Maybe.
    Weak agnosticism: What is this sh*t anyway?!
    Atheism: I don’t believe this sh*t.
    Atheism: Correction, we merely have a lack of belief in this sh*t.
    Nihilism: No sh*t.
    Narcissism: I am the sh*t!
    Last edited by Yahya Sulaiman; 4th July 2011 at 22:03.

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