HELP! Divorce (in the US)

[RAR]

Salam O Alaikoum.
I live in S. California and unfortunately am being divorced by my husband. He filed for divorce in court, but will not contact the Sayyid and will not divorce me "Shar3iyan" because he does not want to be responsible for the "mahar" or dowry payment.
The divorce was filed 2 and a half months ago in the civil court, but he is adamant on NOT divorcing me Sahr3iyan.
Any thoughts or ideas from anyone as to what I can do to sever all ties with him???? I did not want the divorce and still don't. I would like for HIM, if possible to divorce me, since he is the one who wants it.
Please advise:)

[Ronnie]

A'salam,

Although this question could be answered by a more qualified person such as Moiz Amjad on the main page of this website (see "post a question). I'll take a stab at trying to help you out. From my understanding, since your husband informed you that he wants to divorce you and his intentions were such, then I believe that you are already in the process of divorce (if not already divorced). He filed the papers in court which supports my first two points but also this "filing" is binding upon you and him. The "Sayyid" may have nothing to do with this, as the law of the land supersedes any individuals' opinions or actions. Also, since you don't live in an Islamic country that would enforce Shari'ah law I can't see how, even if your husband divorces you the Shari'ah way, anyone can force him to pay the "mahr." The man seems to be adament about not fulfilling his contract and no one can force him unless you can somehow prove that this "marriage contract" is legally binding. You may want to hire an attorney and explain the situation.
Lastly, severing all ties with him (provided there are no children involved, 'cause that could get tricky sometimes) is up to the individual. You may not return his calls, move away, avoid him and first and foremost: get him out of your psyche. Then again maybe somehow the situation could be rectified if it's not too damaged. Most importantly don't let this experience drag you down and all that's around you. Keep believing in God, for men will fail (especially with women) but God will always stand by your side.
I've provided a link that may help. Get a lawyer...(but don't be unjust in your requests. The law in America is strongly in favor of women which is great but sometimes bad).


Allah knows best
Wa'salam

The Link:
http://www.understanding-islam.com/related/text.asp?type=question&qid=987

[RAR]

Thank you so much for your thorough reply. I don't intent to be unjust in any way or form. I'm a professional and don't need him, financially or otherwise. His VERY brief marriage to me, from the beginning, was based on unpure intentions and I would just like to move on at this stage, having wasted enough time and emotions.
Allah has been the only One and continues to be the only pillar of strength for me...Alif il hamdullilah.
Thanks so much again.